One of the things I struggle with most, as a mom of two young kids, is the mental load that comes with the job.
If you’re a mom, you know what I’m talking about. It’s the never-ending thought process of all the things we need to do.
It’s going over lists, sorting, organizing, remembering, preparing and planning. Whether it’s birthday parties, buying gifts, scheduling appointments, reading school reports, keeping track of events, making grocery lists or figuring out what to feed the kids for dinner — it’s a constant buzz inside of your head.
Every time we leave the house, we make sure the kids have what they need — snacks, extra clothes, diapers, wipes, water bottles or whatever it may be — and we barely leave enough time for our own needs.
And then there’s the mom guilt. Moms are constantly caught between the need to be present and the need to be productive. We feel guilty if we choose to be present and don’t get things done, yet we feel guilty if we clean the house and fold laundry while our little ones play by themselves.
Feeling as though we’re not doing enough is common for millennial moms and, if we don’t make time for self-care, we end up with depleted mother syndrome.
This happened to me at the end of 2024. My four year-old, two year-old and I were really sick for a good chunk of November and December, so we had to miss most of our usual festivities and traditions that make it feel like Christmas. I got behind on the decorating, shopping, baking, wrapping and everything in between.
I struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression, and my mental health was at an all-time low. I am trying a new medication to help manage my mental illnesses, but it causes insomnia and makes me sleepy during the day.
I was up until just before 5 a.m. on Christmas morning, making sure everything was magical, and, when my little ones woke up two hours later and saw Santa came, I thought I had pulled it off. I sat down on the couch to watch them open their presents but my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep. I missed the whole thing. After weeks of prepping, I didn’t get to see their sweet little faces when they opened their gifts. I wasn’t present.
And it wasn’t just Christmas that was hard in 2024. I struggled most of the year. But you know what, mamas? It’s OK to struggle sometimes. If you’re stuck in a trench like me and you’re having a hard time climbing out, you’re not alone. Just remember to give yourself grace at the end of the day. Raising tiny humans is not for the weak.
